; Break into the silence

Hello, it's been a long time since i've blogged.

So here's a recap on what's been going on. School's tougher now this semester. That's for sure. Anyway, today's a pretty lost day for me. Had to look for stuffs to do haha. Went to the grandstand for about two hours plus, then headed to the library, picked up books and gave up reading after the 6th page or so because nothing seem to be going in.. Oh well. Came home, tried to sleep but failed haha. So my sister came back from studying and yeah we went to the playground downstairs. It was pretty alright. I needed some fresh air and company's good too. :D Even though she studied and i just stoned and listen to music, singing them aloud and watching the kids play. The kids are cute. Except for two of them, acting like they own the playground. But i sat on planks that could move and well, kinda like a mini swing so that'll do. :D

Yup, that's about all.

No matter how stable you are on the ground, when you close your eyes it's a different story. Everything's unstable, everything's dark and insecure.

Melissa Blogged @ 6:49 PM

Life's funny. Life's irritating. Life makes a fool out of you.

Today's just not really a very good day for me. Gastric in the morning, extreme tiredness in the afternoon and stares in the evening. People should stop thinking so highly of themselves and trying to make a fool of others. And yet, some should become less sensitive. Some like me.

Have you ever had a very unpleasant feeling or thought that you're currently thinking about and then suddenly it just disappears and you know that something's bad, bothering you but you just forgot about it all of a sudden and instead of trying to find out what it was you leave it. Because you know it'll bug you if you continue to think of it, because it is that unpleasant. I think i've had that a couple of times now. Sometimes, i find the unpleasant thought and sometimes i try so hard not to recall what it was.

I'm broke. 0 dollars left in my little wallet. Think i gotta cut down on the green tea. But my stomach's not doing any good really. I can still feel the gastric juices in my tummy. Very extremely uncomfortable. Yeah, i really hope tmr'll be a better day..

Focus you dumbass. Focus on your nursing, focus on your job, just two more days and it'll be done. I'm not sure if i'll be glad or sad. Glad in a way i'll finally get a break. Glad in a way i'll be seeing P10 soon. Sad in a way i'll have to deal with the start of attachment all over again the next time, getting use to everything and then ending the damn thing once more again. Sad in a way that i'll miss my patients, that i'll miss the staff and sometimes the CI as well. Sad in a way that i won't be able to collect green tea's receipt from cheers. And sad in a way, i simply don't know why.

Melissa Blogged @ 10:27 PM

Starting attachment, facing death and pain of our patients, what they go through really shows a new side of life. That life doesn't rotate around you, that life doesn't rotate around relationships, that life doesn't rotate around studies. That others suffer too, that others are suffering more than you, and the worst hurt you've ever felt can never compare to what they're going through. That what ever little conflict we've gone through, might have been a major thing then, but now it'll seem so small, minor. It's also making us stronger in a way. Stronger emotionally, psychologically and stronger physically as well.

There's really more to life than what you think it's all about.

Melissa Blogged @ 11:46 PM

I am tired. Yeah, it's been a very long and busy week i hardly have time to come online to have a real good chat. I'll either be away, (like seriously away) watching tv and stuffs or i'll be sleeping. Yeah sleeping, trust me it is extremely tiring to be on your feet for 8 hours. Guess i had a good rest today and stuffs. And yeah, i do indeed love nursing. Anyway, that leaves two weeks more and attachment will be done. Have a very strong feeling seniorstaffnurse'll shoot me with questions on monday since wl and ant already got shot. So wish me luck!

Went to my aunt's 50th birthday today and boyyy i had a great time. Saw ivan, lucas and crystal like.. finally! :) It's been ages and i miss them like totally. Tons. Hundreds. Millions. Went to the playground and hogged the swings, chatted about some stuffs here and there and screamed here and there as well. Yeah, swings. Loves. :D

Monday's coming so soon. Monday's coming so soon.

Melissa Blogged @ 1:08 AM

Putting yourself in someone's shoes and experiencing what he or she is going through is very different. No matter how hard you try to understand, you're still an onlooker, and you can't go through what he or she's facing unless you yourself is going through or have gone through the same thing.

So it's work today again haha. Yup this time pretty slack and ten minutes felt like an hour. But a day has gone by and that's probably all that matters now. Kill time. Bang bang. But overall, all the craziness got me rather worn out by three. We played hangman and watching a tom and jerry clip hehe. But yup, went bugis with bing and daryl after that to get shoeeeees to design them haha! :) Bought two, one for me one for my sister. Got jellybeans for bdae from daryl yay! Munch munch munch. Went to look at clothes a little while then accompanied bing to BK. Headed to popular to get crossword puzzles to kill time tmr at work haha. Like honestly, i think everyone who wanna sign up would have already signed up and practically everyone have a piece or the pink paper thing. So.. Don't think we can do much. Well today already kinda proved it..

Oh well, next week's gonna be a fun week. Probably badmintoning, designing shoes, shopping and stuffs like that. The last week to enjoy before the three weeks attachment which hopefully will kill time even faster. :) Am feeling rather missing-ish again. Well i always do. :(

I'm done with the day then goodbye!

Melissa Blogged @ 8:51 PM

Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter. She was so wonderful that the sun almost stood still to look at her as it passed over the royal palace.

Near the palace was an old forest and in the forest was a deep, dark well. When the day was hot, the little princess would run into the woods, sit beside the cool well, and play for hours with her golden ball. One day as she played, the ball rolled down, down, into the deep well.

"Oh, oh, my beautiful ball! My beautiful ball!" cried the princess.

"What is the matter, dear princess?" said a voice from the well.

The girl looked into the water, but she could see no one. Then the voice called again, "Tell me, princess, I will help you." This time she saw an ugly frog stretch its head above the water.

"Why should I tell you, old frog?" asked the princess.

"Because I can help the king's daughter," answered the frog.

Again the princess burst into tears.

"My beautiful ball has fallen into the well," she cried.

"Do not weep, beautiful one," said the frog. "I can get your ball, but what will you give me if I bring your toy back to you?"

"What do you want," said the princess, "my dresses, my jewels, or my golden crown?"

"Dresses, jewels, and golden crowns I do not need," said the frog. "Let me be your playmate, sit at your table, eat from your golden plate, and drink from your golden cup, and I will find your beautiful ball."

"I will do all that," she cried, "if you will only get my ball."

In a flash the frog dived under the water and brought up the lost toy.

"Oh, my beautiful ball! My beautiful ball!" cried the princess. "I will hold you fast this time." And off she ran without a word of thanks.

"Stop, stop!" shouted the frog. "Take me with you. I cannot hop as fast as you can run." But on ran the princess and the poor frog had to leap back into the well.

The next day the king's daughter was sitting at the table with her father. Suddenly they heard sounds as if something were coming up the marble steps.

"Open the door, daughter of the king!" shouted a voice outside.

The princess ran to the door. There stood the ugly frog. When she saw it she shut the door quickly and ran to her father.

"What is the matter, my child?" asked the king. "Did you see a giant?"

"Oh, no!" she answered. "It is an ugly frog. Yesterday my golden ball fell into the well. The frog brought it back to me. But first I promised that he should be my playmate, sit at my table, eat from my golden plate, and drink from my golden cup."

"A king's daughter never tells a lie," said her father.

Just then they heard the deep, hoarse voice again. It said,

"King's daughter,
King's daughter,
Do not forget
the promise made
in the forest shade."

Then the king said, "Let the frog in, daughter. Your promise must be kept."

The princess opened the door and the frog hopped right up to her chair.

"Take me up, take me up!" cried the frog. "I must eat from our golden plate."

The princess did not like to touch it, so she lifted the frog with her napkin and placed it near her plate.

The frog seemed to enjoy the dinner but the poor princess could not eat.

"I must drink from your cup, I must drink from your cup," cried the hoarse voice again.

As the princess lifted her golden cup, her hand touched the frog and it was changed instantly to a handsome boy.

"It was an enchanted frog," they all cried in wonder.

"You speak truly," said the boy, "I was an enchanted frog. Nine years ago an evil witch changed me into a frog. She said that nothing but the touch of a king's daughter could make me myself again. I am a prince and I wish to be your daughter's playmate."

The king was pleased to hear this, and the prince became the playmate and friend of the princess. When they were older the king allowed his daughter to marry the prince.

Then the princess took his bride to his father's kingdom. Their golden chariot was drawn by ten white horses, with golden harness and silver plumes.

The prince helped his old father rule the kingdom wisely and the people loved the prince dearly. But best of all they loved the beautiful princess who had learned to be kind and gentle to all living things.

Melissa Blogged @ 7:52 PM

So what concludes a change? How can you tell if someone has changed or not? If you do something bad, something wrong that you're not known for and someone says.. that's just so not you. Will you wonder what's you then? Or will you just shoot it back and say that they don't know you well enough. Or will you just shrug it off thinking nothing much happened and stuffs.

Darn it really, i so do not like days when i just think of such stuffs. And then there are times whereby someone's obviously facing a difficult time and you don't really know what to say afraid of saying the wrong things. And if you know that he or she's really thinking the wrong way and stuffs, you can't really tell them anything cause you'll probably make him or her worse isn't it? And then there are times where you start listing and speaking about your views and afraid that it'll come out as a nag. And of course times where you find no words except a single 'cheer up' or 'chill' and stuffs like that which you really mean it, but you wonder if it really gets through the other person or not.

Okay so enough of that. It's probably a repetition of what i've said before. Or perhaps it was all in my head. Anyway, i'm 17. Hurray and not so hurray. Makes me a year older, going further away from teenage and closer to adulthood. Got a hp pouch from my sis :D Which is really nice. Hehe. It's mickey mouseee. :D Went to a chinese restaurant and dad concluded that it's the best chinese food he'd ever eaten. Yeah it was yummy and worth the money. Haha. Went to walk walk around and didnt really see much. Sis bought a pair of shoes and we headed home. Nothing much done. But yeah :)

Goodnight then.

Melissa Blogged @ 10:35 PM